Putting God First: The Answer I Didn’t Expect

Why I Serve, and Why I Sacrifice

This morning I attended a stake leadership session where we talked about counseling, decision-making, and confidentiality. But as often happens in these meetings, the topic sent my mind in another direction entirely toward my calling, and why I serve at all.

Why do I give up my time, my talents, and my energy? Why do I make sacrifices that sometimes stretch me thin?

The answer came quickly: I do it for Him. My faith in Jesus Christ is the reason I serve.

Stretching in More Ways Than One

This year, Abbey and I aligned ourselves financially in a way we never have before. I gave her more responsibility, and it’s been one of the best things for our marriage.

Three years ago, we stretched to buy our house, a home I still believe was a divinely inspired decision. But that inspiration came with some stretching. Our cost of living went up, and we’ve had to make sacrifices.

This year has been about reining that in, spending less than we make, being intentional, and focusing on long-term financial health. That process has forced me to reflect on what kind of life I want, the relationship I want to have with money, and how that connects to the rest of my life.

I’m ambitious. I’m disciplined. I believe in myself and my abilities (sometimes to the point of delusion). I want to be great, to provide actual value, and to be compensated in a way that allows me to create the life I dream of for me, Abbey, and our kids.

Side Projects and Spiritual Drift

In the last couple of months, when I’m not conducting or teaching, my time has freed up a bit. Naturally, I’ve poured that time into my side projects. And I’ve made progress, which feels great.

But there’s a trade-off. I’ve been out of town most of August. I haven’t been meeting with the bishopric. I haven’t been as thoughtful about my service.

Worse, I’ve felt my excitement fading. That spark I had when I was first called into the bishopric hasn’t been there. The thoughts creep in: “Why do I do this? What’s it good for?”

A Realization on the Road

Abbey and I have had more time in the car lately, road trips to St. George, date nights in the city. Those moments have led to deeper conversations about our goals and decisions, especially around my career.

And we’ve realized something important: we can’t do this alone. No matter how prepared we are, no matter how hard we work, the opportunities we need don’t come purely from effort. They come from God.

So we’ve committed to being more prayerful, to inviting our Heavenly Father into our goals and aspirations, not just asking for His help after the fact, but letting Him shape the path forward.

Morning Prayers and Small Shifts

This has been a weak spot for me most of my life, morning prayers. But lately, I’ve been trying.

I pray at my computer before the day starts, asking for guidance: What should I do? How should I do it? When should I do it?

Sometimes, I even invite my four-year-old to pray with me or for me.

And in these last two weeks, as I’ve prayed more intently, I’ve been looking for answers. This morning, in that leadership session, I think I got one.

The Impression That Stuck

It wasn’t a direct career answer. No “Take this job.” No “Start your own business.”

Instead, it was this: Put God first, and the rest will be taken care of.

If I keep my focus on Jesus Christ, if my reason for serving and sacrificing stays rooted in Him, everything else will work out.

So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to lean into my calling, serve wholeheartedly, and help others come unto Christ. I’m going to be thoughtful and prayerful, teach my family the gospel, and trust that if I put God first, the rest will follow.

It’s not a clear or direct answer, but it feels like the kind that requires faith, the kind that asks me to trust and just keep putting Him first.